I feel like my life is one big disaster. You can say, now that all depends on how you look at things. False. I try to take everything with a positive outlook and still I always tend to fuck everything up.
For example, something bad happened today, not too horrible, but my parents would freak out. I sort ran into the back of someones trunk. While I promised to keep this a secret between myself and a close friend, Jenny, I have some serious conscience issues.
This is probably due to the fact that I have OCD. So I always think i've done something wrong, even if I didn't and feel the need to confess anything and everything :( Now I don't know if bad things continually happen to me because I'm always afraid they will or I just have horrible luck. I think it's a little of both.
It was an accident and no damage was done to either his car or my own. & neither of us were hurt. He said it was fine and just drove away. I asked him if he wanted to call somebody and he said no. I don't think it was because of anything on his part, including lack of insurance or maybe it was his company's truck and he didn't want to deal with all the drama that would be involved in this fiasco.
I should be happy, I was very lucky. I want to tell my mom because it would make me feel a lot better, but yet I don't think I will because according to my parents everything I do is wrong and all I ever do is make mistakes. If I tell them this, it will just be one more thing to hold over my head that I did wrong.
I wish things could be simpler. When I'm a parent, the thing I'm going to work my best at is making sure my children feel they can tell me anything because I won't make them feel badly about themselves. They are going to have more than enough chances in their life time to feel that way. They don't need their parents adding onto their self hatred.
For example, something bad happened today, not too horrible, but my parents would freak out. I sort ran into the back of someones trunk. While I promised to keep this a secret between myself and a close friend, Jenny, I have some serious conscience issues.
This is probably due to the fact that I have OCD. So I always think i've done something wrong, even if I didn't and feel the need to confess anything and everything :( Now I don't know if bad things continually happen to me because I'm always afraid they will or I just have horrible luck. I think it's a little of both.
It was an accident and no damage was done to either his car or my own. & neither of us were hurt. He said it was fine and just drove away. I asked him if he wanted to call somebody and he said no. I don't think it was because of anything on his part, including lack of insurance or maybe it was his company's truck and he didn't want to deal with all the drama that would be involved in this fiasco.
I should be happy, I was very lucky. I want to tell my mom because it would make me feel a lot better, but yet I don't think I will because according to my parents everything I do is wrong and all I ever do is make mistakes. If I tell them this, it will just be one more thing to hold over my head that I did wrong.
I wish things could be simpler. When I'm a parent, the thing I'm going to work my best at is making sure my children feel they can tell me anything because I won't make them feel badly about themselves. They are going to have more than enough chances in their life time to feel that way. They don't need their parents adding onto their self hatred.
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