Gilmore Girls

COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE

I have loved the Gilmore Girls since the beginning.
I have sung that theme song more times than I can count, I have been there every time Lorelai smelled snow, Rory talked about a book, Ms. Patty sexually harassed someone and kirk started a new job.

There is no relationship quite like that between Lorelai and Rory. 

The town is somewhere near Connecticut and right in the middle of bat shit crazy. Everyone is strangely connected to one another, and in everyone's business 150% of the time. The thing I never quite got was how much EVERYONE loved Rory. Don't get me wrong she was a great kid, but that line was used too much of the time "Rory is a great kid" and "she is the kindest kid" which frankly, she wasn't. Especially when it came down to the part where she slept with her married ex boyfriend Dean. um I'm sorry WHAT?!  I guess that's what Lorelai meant when she said "I'm afraid that once your hearts involved, it all comes out in moron." 
Okay and while we're on the subject of Rory's far from perfect personality, let us talk about how the whole series she is this driven girl, thinks of nothing but Harvard and being a journalist, does all her homework Friday night so that she can do extra credit on Saturday and Sunday. Yet one person tells her she doesn't have what it takes and her whole world comes crashing down?! and everyone is on her side, as said Richard Gilmore to Mitchum Huntzberger, "You crushed that girl!" oh boo hoo cry me a fucking river. Does she have any idea how lucky she is to be in the situation she is? to even be going to that school? To get that internship (or whatever the heck it was), to have all the opportunities she's had? Weird thing is, she is a person who should know because for the majority of her life she had nothing! Until she was 7 or 12 (depends on which episode you're watching hahaa) she lived in a garden shed with her mother. Yet now she's a broken entitled little shit. 
oh Jesus Gilmore Girls a year in the life has made me hate her more than I ever thought possible, and it's so sad because as far as fictional characters go, I do love her, she's up there with the best right next to Glen from walking dead and Carrie from sex and the city.  Must be because I spent so much of my life watching the episodes this week, I spent so much time with her I wasn't given any other choice but to love her, which I'm guessing is similar to the feelings Lorelai felt when she had to deal with all of this all of the time. 

I miss the Rory from the first two seasons, Lorelai however is a different situation because I feel she actually grew as a person, she matured, and thank you lord so did her clothing. I always felt the relationship between Lorelai and her parents, specifically her parents was hard to watch. Did I think Richard and Emily were difficult and overbearing? Yes of course I did, but they were her parents, it's part of their DNA to care. Her attitude towards them was insane especially considering all she put them through, and seriously, just leaving to live in a garden shed (refer above) and her parents never go to try and find her and bring her back home? In some episodes it discusses this saying that Emily tried to find them. However, in the very first episode Richard, Emily and Rory joke about Lorelai visiting her parents and it not being some holiday, such as Christmas or Easter, meaning even if very seldomly, they were in each others life. Which makes me think, oh hey, wouldn't Emily (the controlling overbaring Emily we know and love) want to know everything about where her daughter and granddaughter were staying?! Conversation I would like to imagine went a little something like...
"So Lorelai tell me where have you been the last six months"
"oh you know here and there"
"no, I really can't say I know where here and there is, mind being a little more specific"
"I like in a garden shed mom"
to which Emily flips a table and then chains Lorelai to the living room chair where she lives the rest of her life until we pick up in the first episode. 

The thing that irritates me more than anything is where Gilmore Girls a Year in the Life  picks up. Rory is 32 years old, has graduated valedictorian from Chilton, Graduated top of her class from Yale, started working with Obama (or something it never went into detail on that). And yet, she's homeless.(?!?) you know except for that inheritance money she's spending flying to and from London to sleep with her engaged Ex (bringing back some Dean memories). She has a boyfriend of three something years that she doesn't talk to and then sleeps with some guy in wooky costume. Talk about taking 1 step forward, 15 back.

Then we have Luke and Lorelai's situation, HOW can this still be a situation?! They've been dating for 9 years and haven't gotten married?! I know that the producers and writers and directors and everyone involved wouldn't have wanted that to happen without the audience being a part of it, and that may have made "some" sense had the return been 5 years from the finale and not 10. This just makes their relationship seem weak. (think the part where Lorelai offers to help Luke with money for April and he completely shuts her down and she just sits there on the couch afraid to say anything) um..if this is someone you've spent 9 years with and someone who truly loves you, then you wouldn't be afraid to state your opinion without it jeopardizing the relationship. 

Then we have the last four words, and OH MY GOD RORY! 
I imagined pushing her into the lake just like Luke did with Jess. 

This is mostly a rant, I really do love the Gilmore Girls and I really do think their relationship is beautiful and I love their flaws because it makes them seem human but some things make them seem too far from any normal person to relate to. Probably has something to do with them eating out every day for every meal and never running broke or ever getting any health issues. 

clogged pores and a clogged mind

I am 25 years old. I first started getting pimples when I was in 7th grade just here and there. Then BAM! junior year of high school my face exploded. For no reason, wasn't particularly stressed out, didn't go on a new diet, didn't start taking any weird drugs, nothing. Just surprise! Puberty. I obviously was less than thrilled but I figured hey, not a big deal, it will pass, I mean that's what everyone told me, "everyone goes through this, it will clear up in a few years" HAHAHA yep nine years later and it's still here. no wait, not even just still here. It's getting worse. HOW?! I've been to the doctor about it and to the dermatologist. I have tried multiple 3 step systems, murad, clinique, acne free,acne.org. I have tried spot treatments, I have been on antibiotics, topical and oral treatments (including doxycycline, which took my body a month to realize I was allergic to, and made my whole face swell, think will smith in hitch. Awful. Worse than that. So Yea, life of my skin has been going great. 
There have been points in my life when I have given up dairy, gluten, sugar, the list goes on and on and the effects have been none. I truly DO NOT understand this. 
Then I found out I could have something wrong with my colon, but wait, no, I nothing wrong with my colon in regard to dealing with my skin. 
But then I found out I could have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. 
I know this is this worst thing to hope I have but then again, if it helps my skin, it would be great. BLEH. I'm screaming inside! 

...well how about that.

This blog is going to be a bit of a ramble, but I was just watching a Youtube video and this girl, was saying that people think the world is what it is because of what they see, smell, taste, ect. But that in fact the senses are a lie, they are all a delusion to reality. I have to say I believe 100%. If it were possible to believe in something more than 100% this would be one of those things. People can spend their whole life thinking they will never be anything to anyone, that they will never amount to anything because no one believes they can but the truth is the only person who needs to believe it is yourself. Scratch that. You don't need to believe it you need to KNOW it. Know that you can do anything, and I mean really know it, not tell yourself you do, but truly reach the point where you know for a fact, that you can do anything and suddenly you'll be able to do just that. Everyone is capable of doing everything and everything they have ever wanted to do everything they were too afraid to try because they knew they would fail. The only thing holding everyone back is the IDEA. The idea that things are the way they are, but the weird, scary, amazing thing is things are never completely "the way they are". 

I honestly am having a hard time dealing with this myself because I can't concentrate on anything, things always seem to be so much simpler to everyone else but me, and maybe that's the truth. I'm not here to say that you don't or do have it worse than someone else. YOU know better than I or anyone for that matter, whether or not that's the truth. What I'm saying is, whether you have to work less or more than the next person to get what it is you need, you can do it all you have to do is make up your mind to do so. 

I feel so overwhelmed so much of the time, if I'm not working I'm nannying, if I'm not nannying I'm at the doctor, or setting up appointments for the doctor, or visiting family or seeing friends or staring into the abyss that is my room wondering when I will gather up enough courage to clean it. I am trying to see that I can do anything if I just try. I have self diagnosed myself with ADHD haha (not that their is anything humorous about ADHD, I am simply laughing at the fact that I am so certain I have it, without first asking a doctor) because apparently a lot of steps in different directions (i'm doing the cha cha slide over here) have to be done in order to figure out if in fact I do have it, and then an alternative route will have to be taken in furthering my studies in psychic abilities. 

Point of all this blabber is that I want people reading this to take a few moments every day to really think about how much they truly are in control of their life. Everything that told you, you couldn't is noise. Put in earplugs, you got this!

12 stories of the best christmas memories

Christmas is coming faster than you can say ba humbug ! 

This time of year is stressful to say the least, everyone in a rush to get presents they can't afford for people who don't deserve a 75 dollar perfume but a Ferrari. You put things off till the last minute because thinking about it is enough to make your head explode. 

"I wish I could crawl into a hole till the 26th"

&

  "My mother always used to say this season brings out the devil in people" 

These are things I hear through passing conversation in the office. And that is why I thought this is a better time than any to ask people about their favorite christmas memories. So below is just that, from people I love. I hope in reading this you can remember what this season is really about and how wonderful it can be if you don't get wrapped up like a present in all the trivial things. 

ONE

name Matt

age 33

The year my Dad got his second chance at life when Aunt Donna gave him a kidney. November 17th.

Then when the boys were born in November.

TWO

name Eva

age 19

  

The Christmas I remember the most is this one year when my mom made crepes and it was the first time I ever tried them and they had the strawberries and whipped cream and I went crazy over them and kept going back to the kitchen for more and more plates and I have been wanting her to make them every Christmas since but she hasn't.

THREE

name Melissa

age 33

I would have to say 5 years ago, I had the BEST Christmas with Adam!!! He bought me sooo much presents, never in my life have I opened so many, I loved everything! He got the kids cool stuff, was the best Christmas I have ever had...He made me feel so special, he did really love me. All I wanted was just to be with him, it wouldn't of mattered if I didn't open a thing..being with him was a gift everyday.

FOUR

name Caitlyn 

age 21

I think it would have to be the Christmas not last year, but the year before because that was the last Christmas we had with my Grandpa.

FIVE

name Krista

age 34

My favorite Christmas was in 1996 at my Grandma and Grandpa Sutera's house.My Grandma had the house so warm and inviting. The tree was beautiful and the whole house was decorated top to bottom. Grandma had a spread of everything, the best snacks and cookies. Everyone in the family was there. It was very loud; I enjoyed talking to everyone I felt the love in that house.My favorite thing was sitting by the fireplace with my Grandma talking, just looking at everyone and feeling happy we were all together. Christmas is about family and enjoying the moments. That Christmas was my favorite and I will always remember it and how I felt, it was magical.

SIX

name Rob

age 25

The year was 1999. I was 8 years old and still on my Batman obsession. I was living on 43rd and California and me and my two sisters at the time slept on an air mattress in the living room. The funny thing was that the Christmas tree was also in the living room, so my parents had to sneak through the night quiet as a door mouse in order to get all the gifts out. I remember waking up around 4am, wired, ecstatic, and excited to start opening the presents. My parents didn't wake up until 8, so I quaked in my own misery and excitement. I remember getting a see-through green N64 with Donkey King 64 attached. SO BADASS! My Grandma had also made kolaczkis. By far one of the best.

SEVEN

name Janet

age 63

I was probably fairly newly married, so maybe the Christmas of 1975. The August before,my husband John asked me what I missed most from living at home. I told him "my piano and the encyclopedia." He said,rightfully,that the encyclopedia should wait until we had children, but maybe we could think about getting a piano. We went to Lyon & Healy and I must have tested 20-30 pianos. I picked my beautiful piano and it was delivered in September with payments to start in October. At the first payment, John said "Would you mind if this could be your Christmas gift, as I really don't think we can afford anything after we start making these payments." So my first Christmas gift from my new husband was my piano. Years later when he asked if I wanted to get a baby grand to go with the new house, I refused, because I certainly could not keep two pianos, because I would never get rid of my first!

That very same Christmas in 1975, my brother Jim was 9 years old. Mom gave him some money to Christmas shop, and I was to take him shopping. He looked at his money and wondered how he was going to buy gifts with such a small amount of money. I told him those were sometimes the most meaningful gifts ever. We went into a Hallmark store and saw a beautiful candle-it had angels on three sides! I said let's get that for Mom and Dad, and we can create a new Christmas tradition: We will light the candle only while we open gifts. That candle was lit every Christmas, and has lasted over 40 years. We bought a replacement at one point just in case, but I don't think that one has ever been used.

EIGHT

name Ashley

age 22

My memory isn't the best but for what I remember it was 2 Christmas's ago. It was the year I moved to Hawaii so coming home for Christmas was the first time I saw my family in 7 months. I also hasn't seen Jake since September because he had to go to Oklahoma for work and his training wouldn't allow him to leave to celebrate Christmas. So I was so happy to be home to see everyone that I missed so much, I honestly think everyone should experience time away to realize how lucky they are to have people in their lives that care. Anyways I remember we went to your house on Christmas Eve. I was so happy but a little sad because it was my first Christmas in years that Jake wouldn't be a part of. So we woke up on Christmas(and we always open our stocking, have my moms breakfast casserole and open presents Christmas morning)So we opened our stockings and then started to open our presents and this is like 9am and the doorbell rings and I remember saying someone better be dying if our doorbell is ringing on Christmas morning! So my mom gets the door and her face was shocked so I think, "yup someone died" and then she opens the door and Jake comes through. I start instantly crying, he comes over and picks me up, I did't think it was real.

NINE

name Rose

age 16

Alright so I have a really bad memory but I would have to say a memorable Christmas for me was when we went to my papa Marty's house.It was a couple of years ago. I remember Krista was there and Heather and her kids were there and my Great Grandparents were there.I think Steven was there too maybe Eric I can't remember.But yeah we had a bunch of different cookies and when we opened gifts papa Marty gave me 6 cans of pringles, lol 

TEN

name Brittany

age 23

My favorite Christmas was when I was 12 or 13 and I got my guitar.I had wanted it so bad and I was getting down to the last few presents. I remember I got so sad cause I realized none of them were big enough to be a guitar. And at the end, my parents always ask, "Okay is that it? Are you sure there's nothing left under the tree?"  I searched the entire room,looking under the couches/chairs, under my moms desk and there was nothing left. Finally my mom asked me to go refill her coffee and when I came back, there was a huge box leaning up against my chair and it was my guitar. To this day, they never told me where they hid it.

Actually no, my absolute favorite was when Gianna was 4 and I built a tower out of her presents and made a bridge that she had to walk under in order to get to her chair, her face was priceless. I've never seen her smile that big and she started jumping and clapping her hands.

ELEVEN

name Kelly

age 48

The best Christmas I ever had has to be my first Christmas as a mother! December 1991! It's the best feeling ever to be a mom for the first time and the first Christmas together is unforgettable! Not that I didn't love all the other kids Christmas's, but the 1st is the best!

TWELVE

name Steven

age 26

I think the last time we were all at Grandmas together, not the recent, but when it was everyone before Uncle Raymond passed, before Michael left, and before all the bad things.

THIRTEEN

name Lauren

age mid twenties 

I don't really have a favorite Christmas. I like all of my Christmas's. I guess a good one for me would be when I got a playstation when I was 8-9. It was the first expensive thing that I got as a present.

FOURTEEN

name Kimberly

age 28

My favorite Christmas was every year when the traditions still stuck. Santa would leave pajamas under the tree each Eve and all 3 of us would dress up and take pictures and then my parents would dress us up to go see "Santa" (a neighbor who decked his house up and sat and greeted all the neighborhood kids who stood in line.)Then looking back "Mrs.Claus and the Elves" must've had too much to drink cause every present that said my name on it was for my sisters and vice versa. haha Also my Grandparents used to be there every year. The holidays are not the same when you get older and the  family gets smaller. Sorry mushy I know.

FIFTEEN

name Dave

age 65

When I tell you this, you're not going to believe it because it sounds like something out of a Disney film. This was years ago, way before I was with Karen. I took a trip to Mexico with Sarah, it was right before Christmas. We stayed at a place called Acapulco Princess, it was one of the nicest hotels you could think of, if not the most expensive.I remember it being warm and the nice breeze, and  I remember the Christmas tree. One tree,that must have been 10-11 stories tall, right in the center of surrounding smaller Christmas trees. This was like the one in Chicago, except this wasn't a bunch of trees put together, this was one tree. I don't recall there being evergreens in Mexico so they must have had all these delivered from Texas. There was this restaurant we would eat breakfast at all the time, and they were building a gingerbread house. Not some tiny thing, that would sit on a table, a masterpiece. They had chiefs brought in from Europe building it, piece by piece; and then gluing it together. I'd imagine it was as big as Aunt Janet's kitchen and dinette combined. All the windows and doors worked, it really was a work of art. And as the kids walked through they would take pieces off and eat it, but the chiefs did't seem to mind they would just make more. There was a stream that ran through the hotel, not going in any one direction or heading in any place particular, just meandering throughout. Well they went ahead and drained the pool and filled it with chocolate. Yes. 100 feet long stream of chocolate, try and imagine that. There were bridges to cross over and the children would bring mugs or whatever they could to lean over and get the chocolate. The place was shaped like a pyramid on the inside  and you could see stories up. They sprinkled powder dust down on everyone; and so on Christmas Eve it snowed.

SIXTEEN

name Crystal

age 37

My favorite Christmas was my Dad's last Christmas in 2004,nothing really special happened and I didn't get much but my Dad said he wanted to spend this Christmas with me because he wasn't sure if he would be around for another. I made him dinner, nothing special. But it was so special because it was just me and him spending time together hanging out, laughing and talking. I can still see him sitting on the couch at my house. I miss him everyday and wish I could hear his voice, and hug him once more.

none of you counted wrong, there are 16 here. I just keep adding more stories!

people are so happy to be so mean.

Never in my life will I ever understand people who make the conscious decision to be an asshole. It is one thing to treat someone badly if they are treating you the same way, although.."an eye for an eye will make the world blind". 

But to the people who do it for no reason, I just don't understand it. 

At least I didn't, I think I get it now, these people never, for one second care about the pain anyone but themselves are about to feel. 

My favorite is the people who will then act completely decent a different day...why? oh so you're in a good mood now so no one has to suffer from your personality. 

How about those people who are mean to someone simply because they don't like them? no reason behind it, they just decide on a whim you aren't the kind of person they would like to associate with so that gives them the right to treat you like dirt. 

Or the people who are mean to even their friends and the friends accept it, like "it's fine, this is just part of beck's personality" like um, no. Becky's a bitch! 

These people are everywhere, you go to class with them, you work with them yell some of you may live with them.

People! the reason so many people get away with treating others badly and can get away with it instead of what they deserve (which would be to get kicked out of class, the house or fired) is because we allow it, we come up with stupid excuses FOR THEM because the truth is, they're the only one's comfortable with admitting they're an ass. (well some of them, others have a complete misconception of reality and think of themselves as kind; let us all scream together)

I don't know what to do about these types of people because I want to put them in their place but not at the extent of losing myself and becoming someone more like them, which is nothing I would aspire to be. 

catch 22, my friends, catch 22. 

happiness

This is a difficult one. 

Often times we associate happiness with receiving what it is we want. That could be anything, our bills to disappear, to win that lottery we've been buying tickets for the past 3 years, to have normal family members...While we think this would make us happy, the truth is it won't. We, as humans, are beings that always want more, nothing is ever enough. In saying this, I am not going to say it's what we have that counts either, of course having a roof over your head and friends that would pay your bail are nice, not all of us have that, and the point I'm trying to make is that EVERYONE can achieve happiness. As a close friend told me, "Happiness is not a destination, but a state of mind". There is nothing truer than this. Think about it, you have no closer friend than yourself. Some may not believe this and argue that they have friends that see the best in them when they can't, if you are lucky enough to have that, good for you! I'm not saying that friendship is fake, I'm merely saying, if you be kind to yourself and keep your best interests at heart, you will be the most loyal friend you could ever have. I realize this is hard to accept for some, it took a while for myself; in honesty I'm still working on it. 

Point is, you have to sit down and take a few moments to realize this: You may be 15 pounds heavier than you would like; you may struggle to achieve a C average no matter how much you study; you may have few friends, if any; but this is it. There is no other chance, you are who you are. You can join Jenny Craig, sign yourself up at sylvan learning center, or pay that kid down the street to watch The Walking Dead with you, doesn't matter. If you are having internal problems with yourself you can't cover them. Sooner or later the Red Paint will drip off, revealing the White Roses and the Queen will be even more agitated than she was before. 

Think of it this way. Imagine someone you cared about deeply, gives you a book as a gift for some occasion or other, and shortly after passes away. You are faced with a dilemma, read the book and eventually wear the pages; or keep it safely on a shelf to forever gather dust. Here's the answer, you must do both. This is the sure way to not insult their memory. This is how you must treat yourself. 

You are the gift. There is no other, you're the one and only. Be careful not to insult yourself or cause harm to yourself, because you can't go to the store and pick out a new one. This being said, you can't allow yourself to go through life being ignorant. Just make sure to teach yourself not punish. 

Another thing about happiness is how others see it. Everyone's always trying to tell you what you want; "I know you think you want that Sandwich, but you're wrong, I had it before and it was gross". It's not that they don't care about your feelings, but in thinking of yours, the reality is, most of them confuse your feelings with their own. I know you don't want to hurt them, you want to do what would make them happy. But STOP. seriously. Take a step back and realize how stupid this is! Not doing what they want, does not mean you don't care or love them, it means you care and love yourself. So you want them to die happy? What about you? Thing is, you're going to live just about as long as they do and your life is just as important, probably more, because it's your own. 

A cold hard fact is, none of us make it out alive, whether you believe in an after life or not, you can't deny this is our only chance at this life. Stop reading to think about this, you could die tomorrow. I know you've read and heard it a million times, but honestly think about it. Go ahead take a few moments.

Scary as shit right? 

Now, go ahead and do all those things you were upset you wouldn't be able to. Want to get married? Find yourself a hottie and don't take no for an answer. Want to see the Louvre Museum? Buy yourself a plane ticket; or if you live in Paris, march your ass down the street. 

Bonne Chance 

much love <3

All Children, Except One, Grow Up.

"Grow Up!"

How many times have people told you this? Your parents, your friends, random people you don't know?
I was always afraid to grow up, something Peter Pan and I had in common. My parents would constantly tell me to get a job, I ignored them because if I did that, in my mind it would mean I was aging. I didn't do a lot of things because it was all a step towards adulthood.
But there's a difference between being Mature and a Snob. It seems so many young people want to be perceived as an adult. So they dress up in clothes they've seen people twice their age wear and talk with an undertone of knowledge, that they actually don't have.
How many times have you come across people who talk down to you, when in reality you're older? What makes them mature?
Having a job to pay for school is mature. Applying for universities your parents say are pointless, is mature. Helping people you don't know is mature. Having self respect is mature. Knowing you only have so much time, so you party every weekend is mature. Sticking up for yourself when the biggest ass hole you've ever met says something derogatory to you is mature.
Maturity is not how people perceive you. Acting like you're better than others and having adults call you "responsible" does not make you mature. It makes you an actor.
Everyone wants to reach for the future. Everyone's making plans for marriage and children. Why is that? Is it because it's what everyone else is doing? Most likely. I myself have heard a million times from family, "do you have a boyfriend yet?" My response is always no, and the look I always receive is..."are you a lesbian?" (NOT that there is ANYTHING wrong with homosexuals). Point is why does it matter? Maybe the question people should ask their children, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren, is "how are you doing?" and "are you happy?" because in the end that is all that matters.
So how does one become mature? Stop trying to do what you think you should, and start doing what you want! Stop trying to grow up and start searching for that second star, having fun, straight on till morning.
Bonne Chance
much love<3

mistakes

I feel like my life is one big disaster. You can say, now that all depends on how you look at things. False. I try to take everything with a positive outlook and still I always tend to fuck everything up.
For example, something bad happened today, not too horrible, but my parents would freak out. I sort ran into the back of someones trunk. While I promised to keep this a secret between myself and a close friend, Jenny, I have some serious conscience issues.

This is probably due to the fact that I have OCD. So I always think i've done something wrong, even if I didn't and feel the need to confess anything and everything :( Now I don't know if bad things continually happen to me because I'm always afraid they will or I just have horrible luck. I think it's a little of both.

It was an accident and no damage was done to either his car or my own. & neither of us were hurt. He said it was fine and just drove away. I asked him if he wanted to call somebody and he said no. I don't think it was because of anything on his part, including lack of insurance or maybe it was his company's truck and he didn't want to deal with all the drama that would be involved in this fiasco.

I should be happy, I was very lucky. I want to tell my mom because it would make me feel a lot better, but yet I don't think I will because according to my parents everything I do is wrong and all I ever do is make mistakes. If I tell them this, it will just be one more thing to hold over my head that I did wrong.

I wish things could be simpler. When I'm a parent, the thing I'm going to work my best at is making sure my children feel they can tell me anything because I won't make them feel badly about themselves. They are going to have more than enough chances in their life time to feel that way. They don't need their parents adding onto their self hatred.

weird attractions

so everyone's got their type. Or maybe you're someone who thinks they don't have a type (but you still probably do). There's those who like the blue eyed boys. Cause we can all admit, those are pretty nice. There's girls who are crazy about the dark hair. People like, someone who's tall, but not too tall, in shape but not looking like a body builder, confident not cocky, smart not a smart ass, funny not immature, sweet, but not mushy, available but not a clinger. 

These are all traits hard to find in a man (mostly because they tend to be a bit contradictory). But these are things a lot of girls on the hunt want.

I myself, I have a huge thing for tall guys, like 6' feet or taller. The taller the better, that is unless the top of the flag pole is closer than the ground, I draw the lines there. I also LOVE green eyes. I don't know, there's something about them. 

Internally it would be nice if they loved to read, and if they could speak a different language and didn't mind killing spiders. 

Here's where it starts to get weird. I am crazy for boys who are left handed. so strange right? When I first realized myself being drawn to this trait, I didn't say anything cause it's just very odd. "Like oh you like boys with good biceps? That's cool, I like lefty's." So strange, so very strange. But i've come to accept that I can't help it. It is simply what I like, and what I like a lot! Seriously, I was talking about this with a few people I like it so much a guy I thought was "just okay" can jump up several points on my list upon finding out he holds that pen with his left hand. I don't completely understand the logic of this but a friend of mine mentioned it could be subconsciously due to the fact that this is a rare thing among humans. So when I become aware that a boy is left handed I think he's a unique catch and I decide I must have him.

I also have a thing for guys whose upper cuspids (the four teeth you have that look like fangs;vampire teeth) are cooked, and are tilting outward. (think Kirsten Dunst, how her teeth come out when she smiles with her mouth shut). The same friend who told me I like lefty's for their rarity, mentioned I could like this because it brings me back to the cave man times and makes me want to attack them like an animal, only I think she was joking. I however am not joking when I say if this was an acceptable act in today's society i'd do it. 

Now if only finding a six foot five man, with amazing biceps, green eyes, a love for reading, lefty with crooked cuspids was as easy as finding some short ugly right handed fat man, I'd be one happy girl. 

But life just isn't fair. I wish you all luck on finding someone with all your weird attractions.

much love<3

we live in a greedy little world

This is not just a line from a Shania Twain song. There is true meaning behind these words. I honestly believe money has a lot to do with happiness. Disagree if you would like, but think about it. If you have no money, a lot of things are taken away from you, in extreme circumstances, that could mean your car or your house. In more common situations it usually means opportunities. Think of all the things you had to miss out on simply because yo couldn't afford it. It's truly depressing when you spend more than 30 seconds thinking about it. Actually it's pretty depressing even thinking about thinking about it. Now if you're one who has the luxury of a fat wallet, things are lot easier. Picture this, you're on the beach with a whole bunch of friends for the summer, you're renting a lovely cottage equipped with a hot tub and bar. You have a boat to go rafting with, enough alcohol to set a 5 year recovering addict back to their worst days and countless hours of free time to do nothing but bask in how lucky you are. You may think it's the liquor that's making you happy, or maybe the fact that you have weeks away from the office, it also quite possibly could be because your friends accompanied you on this trip. All these are true, and they all contribute to the joy of the experience, but without you handing over your pay check, none of this would be possible. So yes, money does buy you happiness, don't let anyone tell you different. -queen latifah ( mad money.) if you've never seen this, go buy it. You won't regret it.

Back to the topic at hand, I think things should go back to when you didn't have to pay for anything. I realize this would create some drama, maybe even a fourth war, but nothing we can't get threw. hahaa. kidding. but seriously. When did a number become the root of all freedom?

The Maze Runner Review

The maze runner 

So I heard about these books from Elle Fowler, Ellesglittergossip on youtube! omg I love her she's darling, not that huge of a fan of her sister tho. ( No hate. She's just not my cup of tea, she seems like a sweet person ) Anyway, Elle's book reviews are so addicting, seeing as I am the biggest fan of reading ever! like seriously! So of course I needed this book, my sista got it for me for my birthday! Oh thanks<3

the maze runner is about a boy (Thomas) who awakens in a elevator of some sort. He has very little memories, that all seem to be very vague, ex. he knows what an ocean is, but can recall no time in which he personally seen one.

When the elevator opens he arrives in a type of field, the four corners being, the makeshift house for everyone to stay in, the gardening center, the animal slaughter and i believe the forest? where the graves are kept. or maybe i'm missing a part? I can't remember. any who they (a hundred or so young boys) are all suffering the same memory loss as Thomas.

There is a giant wall surrounding the whole area that seals itself shut at night? Why? to keep the grievers out. Or to keep them from coming in, depending on how you look at it.

Outside the walls, is a maze that goes on for miles, the chances of solving the maze are slim because the maze changes each day and if you're smart, you'll make your way back inside before night. This is because at the end of each day the doors shut and don't open again until morning. & this means you're stuck in the maze for about eight hours with the grievers; which are half animal half machine that will stop at nothing till you're torn apart. If you're lucky you'll get away with nothing but a sting. Which causes you to go threw the changing which brings up past traumatic memories.

I thought in theory this was an amazing plot line. While I did enjoy the book, I'm now reading the second one, The Scorch Trials, this is definitely intended for younger readers. Not saying that's a bad thing, It was written for a younger audience!

If you're older, I wouldn't say this is a bad choice, just more of a light read.
If you're younger, then I really think you would enjoy it! :) 

Did You Hear?

I wrote this probably five years ago, which is so crazy! 

Ugh man have I missed writing. 

1952.

Rhode Island.

I could hear running from behind me as I raced through the grass. Nikolas was coming up close and if I didn't find somewhere to hide right now, I'd be it. I hate being it. I fell to the ground and army crawled till I reached the rose bush. I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. To keep from laughing I bit down on my knee.

"Danielle! Oh Danielle...hmm..now WHERE could you be?"

Nikolas was a pain in the ass that's for sure, but he was my only friend so I tolerated him.

"Danielle!? Where are you!? Come on this isn't fair!" he whined.

"Oh shut up you sissy" I exclaimed as I hit him. He was never what you would say, fit boy. More like a flag pole. Because of this an eleven year old girl could easily push him to the ground. As he fell backward into s puddle of mud and grass, I took off running. 

I had just reached the back steps to the house when I heard the scream. My body flashed warm then cold. I couldn't turn my head, I couldn't move. I heard the sound of feet slamming against the damp ground behind me.

"What's wrong?" Nikolas asked

"Did you hear that?" I turned to face him. "From over there?" I pointed to the shed.

Nikolas was easily spooked so telling him this naturally caused him to panic. His eyes widened as he slowly turned his head. 

"Hear....wh...what?" he stammered.

"The scream?"

His fear quickly turned to anger. The pale cream shade of his face, was transformed to a shade that almost perfectly matched his mother's roses.

"I hate you!" He yelled as he stomped up the stairs to the back entrance to his father's summer estate.

I stood at the edge of the stairs a few seconds more, trying to convince myself that what I had heard was the wind. After that I raced after the child with whom would soon inherit the land we had once spent endless hours racing across. To someone reading this, well, I suppose you could call "biography" to some degree, may in fact have an image of me. A blonde, blue eyed girl with a million beautiful dresses. I am not going to deny any of this, though I will say, I never wore any of the dresses that hung in my closet. No, I preferred pants. 

But the point of this is not to explain my clothing or living situation. The point, is the scream.

1958

Rhode Island.

Years past and soon I was seventeen and back in that house, Nikolas and I still friends of course. Nikolas's father had just been informed that his estate was being taken from him. Something about his company going bankrupt. I never paid attention to such things. But the truth was, as sad as it may be, this wasn't the plan. Nikolas never showed any interest in his father's business, but it didn't matter. He was next in line, he would take over. 

He sits across from me on a silk cushioned chair as he stares blankly at the pieces on the board. He was never any good at chess, but especially not under these circumstances, so I let him win. But believe me, it was difficult. It's never easy to pretend to lose when your opponent is losing so miserably.

"I win", he announced matter of factly.

"you win." I agreed.

He got up and looked out to the yard beyond the window. He looked destroyed. Inside and out. I watched as he tapped his finger against the glass. He turned slowly to face me, but his eyes moved to the ground. 

"Who do you think it was?"

I was completely confused.

"Who it was?" I inquired.

"Yes." He looked back out the window as he shuffled his feet across the wood floor. "The girl"

I always knew he was a bit of an odd one, but crazy? no.

"Nikolas, what in the hell are you talking about?"

His piercing blue eyes looked into mine, as if trying to find what I wasn't saying.

"I know you heard." He stated as he walked towards the door. Just before stepping out he looked back to say "You can't pretend you forgot. No one could forget a thing like that."

I was dumbfounded. The scream? So he heard it too?

He continued. "Dad didn't go bankrupt. You think a man like him.." he paused to extend his arms out, displaying the lavish furniture and  floor to ceiling decor. "a man like that. He wouldn't lose it all. A man like that wouldn't lose any of it. No, What he lost was his clients."

"I could feel the blood drain from my face, actually feel as it moved down and settled in my throat, blocking all airways.

"You didn't imagine it. I've always known, and now, so does everyone else."

I watched as he walked out, and through the window I watched him trudge down the steps of the back entrance to his father's home. The one we played in as children, the one he was supposed to have. I watched as he walked away from all he'd ever known. And I watched as he realized it was all a lie.

book reviews

The Stand by Stephen King

I am on page 21. So far there are two separate stories going on. There is a group of men in a small town who have just witnessed a car crash into a gas station. Upon viewing the passengers discovered they were in a sense rotting. The second story revolves around a young couple who just found out they're expecting. So far, and I know I haven't gotten that into it, it is a really good story. The dialog is incredible, it's the kind that makes you feel as if you are witnessing a conversation in real life. That's something else that's great and somewhat terrifying. Since the story lines are so realistic, when it comes time to all the horrific things that are bound to happen (which I know they are, I read up on this book before hand and I mean come on, It's Stephen King) I am going to shit my pants.  

Divergent by Veronica Roth

This is a pretty interesting story so far. It's based in a dystopian future, Where everyone is separated into different fractions based on what they think would make the world a better place and bring peace. When you are 16, I believe it is, you take a required test to see which group you would fit best in. Although this doesn't really matter because you still retain the right to choose for yourself. Thus far the main character, Tris, has decided to leave her family's fraction, one that believes in modesty and kindness, for one that represents strength and bravery. But choosing does not automatically promise you a place there, first you must survive initiation. 

DARK WORLD:into the shadows with the lead investigator of the ghost adventures crew by Zac Bagans and Kelly Crigger 

I am in the third chapter I believe. I think this is meant to be an autobiography of some sort because the book is told as if Zac Bagans is talking directly to you, telling you about his life and his experiences. I have read of the creature that visited him as a child and the ghost that haunted his first apartment. I also learned that his parents are divorced and that he took classes for film making. This is why when he discovered he could put his love of film making and super natural together and make something out of it. So with his friends Nick Groff and Aaron Goodwin they filmed a paranormal experience and entered it int a film competition and won, the rest is history.

Safe Haven Review

Today I finished Nicholas Sparks' Safe Haven. It was an incredibly cute story. Some things I didn't agree with, seeing as I am a very factually person. For example, I did not understand why "Katie" chose to stay in a place only a few states away from where she left. That just doesn't make sense to me. She went on and on about how paranoid she felt, and it's like well no shit, you're so close to your psychotic husband! Seriously! Maybe consider moving to the complete opposite end of the country? Or even Hawaii? My first thought, once I escaped something like that, that is if I were ever put in a situation like that, would be to move to a different COUNTRY, hell even Canada! I mean we know, she's totally freaked by the fact that her husband is a police officer so the law can't help her, but it's like woman, NEWS FLASH, he can't do shit if you leave the country, his authority doesn't matter! But no no, we want a best seller and best sellers are filled with incredibly dim people who put themselves in incredibly stupid situations. Besides that, How could she possibly think taking her neighbors dead daughters identity was a smart thing? For a little while sure, but taking someone's social security number? COME ON! So unintelligent. 

Other than those annoyances, I thought the book was very well written and kept my attention. It was cute how Katie and Alex's relationship grew. I really loved Alex's character, he seemed really genuine and sweet. I liked how the children, Josh and Kristen, were so young that they didn't resent Katie and see her as taking their mothers place. I think if they were slightly older and felt their father was betraying their mother and dishonoring her memory, it would add an extra level to the story and it would be too much to keep up with. 

My favorite part of this novel was Jo's character. She was pushy and demanding and not afraid to say what she wanted to say. I found her a very unique friend. Usually the "friend" is someone who is very bleh, someone who seems familiar in every way because the writer doesn't want to take attention away from the main character. Jo was different. She helped Katie become herself again and let go of fear. Having Jo turn out to be Alex's late wife and deceased mother of Josh and Kristen was bitter sweet. The idea that she became friends with Katie and pushed her to be with Alex because she knew they were meant to be together and knew Katie would be a great mother to her children was incredibly touching and heart breaking. Although finding out that she wasn't there, not really, and that Katie lost her most loyal friend was devastating.  

This is one that will get you thinking, and quite possibly crying.