run run as fast as you can.

My room is like a metaphor for my life, messy unorganized and destroyed. It goes further than that, I am so anal about having everything be in a specific place that most things I just leave on the floor of on my bed scattered because that's better than putting it in a place it doesn't belong; and since it doesn't belong anywhere, on the floor it goes. 

I do nothing but work and when I'm not working I'm at the doctors. It never really ends and i'm not so sure what to do about it. 

I know I should try to take on small tasks at a time but still that doesn't seem to work either. 

It's hard to explain depression to people who don't have it but it is an endless emptiness that can not be explained. I want to make myself feel better I want to do things I think will make me happy, including hanging out with people or writing on this blog, but honestly it's difficult, everything seems difficult, even if to others it isn't, it is to me, everything is difficult. Writing this sentence is difficult. 

They give you medicine saying "here this will help" but when it doesn't you feel hopeless and empty because this was supposed to work, THIS was supposed to help! 

I feel like I'm running as fast as I can, but it doesn't really matter because I have nowhere to go and no destination in mind. 

This is a very depressing post but I am sure other people feel this way in their every day life as well and like they can't can't to anyone.